This Does Not Compute

Technology, gaming, music and things that just don't compute

Ants made me renovate my pantry

I’m a fan of Triscuits. They’re not as awesome as, say, Cheez-Its, but they’re pretty tasty. I grabbed a new box of Triscuits out of the pantry tonight and took it upstairs to snack on while surfing. I tore open the bag and ate a few, then set it down on my desk. A few moments later, I look down and see a solitary pavement ant scurrying towards my keyboard.

Oh hell no.

We’ve been dealing with ants during colder weather in the kitchen; I’m not exactly sure where they’re getting in, but I’ve gone around and sealed up all the cracks and gaps where I think they may be entering. I thought I got them all too, because I haven’t seen one in the house in a few months. But apparently they managed to make it to the pantry under the stairs, just next to the kitchen. And they apparently are also capable of eating through plastic, as evidenced above. They got into the bottom of the Triscuit box, ate a hole in the bag and were lying in wait for me, to mock me, to show me their cunning when I least expected it.

Everything came out of the pantry, at least everything on the floor. No more will food be stored on the floor, even in sealed boxes and bags, I decreed. There were some small bits of onion skin stuck in the carpet; that’s what must have drawn them in. I saw at least a dozen in the back corner. I inspected some of the other boxes that were on the floor; the bulk package of Apple Jacks from Costco was OK, as was the 3-pounder of Cheez-Its. Our last bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Kettle chips — of which there are no more at Costco, and their replacement flavor hasn’t been shipped in yet — had a similar hole in the bottom, though, and it saddened us to toss it. We really like those chips.

The Dyson came out and I vacuumed the hell out of the closet. I vacuumed the hell out of the kitchen, too, for good measure, then proceeded to clean the cabinet where we keep the garbage can hidden just because I was still pissed. While everything was out of the pantry, I grabbed the measuring tape and stud finder and figured out where replacement shelves would go, since the cheap wire shelving that a previous owner had installed (poorly, mind you — there are a metric crapload of screw holes and abandoned drywall anchors in there from failed installation attempts) didn’t offer enough storage, hence leading us to just throw junk on the floor. This weekend I’ll try to patch all the holes, paint the inside (probably a medium grey to hide any future scuffs) and replace all the shelving with replacements from Ikea.

All because some ants got into my Triscuits.

UPDATE: I was originally planning on using Antonius shelves from Ikea, but when we went there last weekend to pick them up, they were out of stock on the uprights and shelf brackets. Turns out the whole series is being discontinued, with no replacement available yet. Everything that they had at Home Depot was overly heavy-duty and intended as garage shelving. I guess I’ll have to hold off on the new shelves for now.


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