This Does Not Compute

Technology, gaming, music and things that just don't compute

Everyone shut up about the iPhone on Verizon already

I just ran across this article, and it seriously has me shaking my head. For the TL;DR crowd, the story basically surmises that the manufacturing delay for the white iPhone 4 is actually due to the fact it’s going to be the CDMA iPhone that Verizon will carry soon. I have officially decided that I will never buy an iPhone on Verizon simply because I am sick and tired of all the frenzied clamoring that the uninformed masses have to get away from AT&T.


It’s no secret I hate telcos. I hate every single wireless carrier, domestic and abroad, with the fire of a thousand suns. Why? Because they’re all the same. The pricing is the same (give or take 5 bucks), the contract BS is the same (in fact, it’s worse in Canada where they can get stuck with 3-year cell contracts), and the service is ultimately the same.

I’m not trying to defend AT&T with this, because above all I hate AT&T the most. But really, if you took the majority of iPhone users and put them on any of the other major cell carrier’s networks, their service will suck too. It will suck out loud just as AT&T’s does now (which, apparently, doesn’t include the Twin Cities metro, where I’ve gotten the same service quality on AT&T as I ever did on T-Mobile).

Launching the iPhone on Verizon will make Verizon (and Apple, since current iPhones won’t work on Verizon’s CDMA network) an absolute sh*t-ton of money, because the vast majority of current iPhone owners will jump ship. I really don’t think there are a ton of people out there who are on the fence about buying an iPhone and saying to themselves, “Well, I’d pull the trigger if only the iPhone was on Verizon.” It’s all the ignorant whiners, and the people who read the ignorant whiners’ blogs*, who have bought into the belief that AT&T is the worst carrier in the history of mankind and the others are perfect in every way. They’re the ones who will line up on launch day for a Verizon iPhone, and they’ll probably even willingly break their AT&T contracts (which will make AT&T a sh*t-ton of money). And within 3 months, people will bitch about Verizon’s slow data, dropped calls, and crappy customer service as they do about AT&T, because all of the iPhone users** won’t be on AT&T any more (making their service better for those staying behind).

So, Citizens of the Interwebs, I preach upon you: ALL OF THE TELCOS SUCK. DON’T DELUDE YOURSELVES INTO BELIEVING THAT VERIZON IS BETTER. STFU ABOUT THE VERIZON iPHONE ALREADY, IT WON’T BE ANY DIFFERENT. Hell, Verizon recently made some headlines because they’ve decided that they’ll start reprimanding or even firing its own employees for helping its customers save money. That doesn’t sound like the happy rainbow-moonbeam-sunshine-puppies-hugs-and-chocolate-chip-cookies company that all the iPhone whiners want Verizon to be, does it?

Telcos are businesses. All they want is your money. They don’t care what they have to do to get it, and some will even help the government spy on you.

*I’m not an ignorant whiner, I’m a semi-ignorant asshole.
**Except me, I’ll stick with AT&T and my service will suddenly get WAY better.

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